I'm really sorry Ronny McD! I didn't mean to bash you all this time about the quality of your "food"!
So to be fair to you, I've taken another closer look at what you have on these big neon signs, spent a lot of time researching and thinking, and came to the conclusion that I have to bite the bullet and admit that I've been wrong all along about you...
So, I'm publishing to the world my new stance on the big ol' McD.
Kid's perfect snack! When I look at these cute little bites of heaven, I used to think about the gluten in the crunchy breadcrumbs, the hydrogenated vegetable oil they're fried in, and the highly processed chicken coming from animals living in a cash, fed hormones and genetically modified corn... But I've given it some careful thought:
- The satisfaction you get from biting your teeth and hearing that "crunch' coming from that nugget actually releases Dopamine, the "pleasure hormone", or neurotransmitter to be exact. When you get that feeling, your brain releases that Dopamine, which in turn relaxes your body, lower blood pressure, improved intestinal mobility, in addition to a number of other benefits!
- Yes there is a little gluten in the breading, but that breading is to thin that it doesn't even get detected by your body. Because it's fried to death in vegetable oil, the heat pretty much destroys everything in that breading, including the gluten, so you're good there too!
- What about that hydrogenated vegetable oil it's fried in? Yes they've been shown to clog up your arteries, but think about it: it's just that little outer shell of the nugget that gets fried, no oil gets inside into the chicken! Besides, that fat binds to the breadcrumbs on the outside of that nugget, and stop your body from absorbing those carbohydrates. The end result? Voila! Chicken McNuggets are the ultimate low carb snack!!
- Finally, the protein comes into the picture. Can't have too much protein right? Build muscles! Lose weight! And chicken is the ultimate source of protein. After all, what's the difference between that chicken breast that bodybuilder is eating and the chicken in the McNugget? 6 nuggets would make a breast no? And don't you worry about the fact that it's highly processed and comes from those pool artificially inflated animals living in a cage and fed GMO-corn. Once again, that vegetable oil comes to the rescue! The high heat used in that fryer burns the hell out of any toxins left in there! Ok, so the chicken ends up dry and chewy, but it's still good no?
Ouuuh, that juicy ultimate recovery meal!
Say you've done a hard workout. I'm a triathlete, so let's use me as an example: I just finished a 2-hour bike ride, with a number of hill repeats and time trials thrown in there. By the end of the workout, my muscles are depleted right? My glycogen stores are empty, I've sweated off tons of minerals, including Sodium (salt)...
So what do I do on the drive home? I swing by that drive through McD at the petrol station, and grab myself a nice juicy Big Mac! So let's take a closer look at how this legendary "burger" makes me a stronger athlete:
- That soft bun! Yes it has a lot of sugar in it, and it will cause an insulin spike, and stress my pancreas etc etc. But hold on, my glycogen stores are completely empty! That sugar will go straight into my blood, and even though my pancreas will go bananas secreting insulin to get rid of it, that insulin will drive that sugar straight into my muscles! This will make me recover faster so I can destroy that tempo run tomorrow morning!!!
- Those nice veggies! You see after a hard workout like that, your body has gone through a lot of oxidative stress, so you need antioxidants to help reduce inflammation. And what has lots of antioxidants? Vegetables of course! And yes they're wilted and mushy, but let's face it, after a hard workout like that, you don't want your digestive system to do a lot of work. Soft wilted vegetables would be easier to digest no?
- That patty! Again, protein protein protein!!! Build muscles, go faster! Yes ok so it comes from cows fed hormones and GMO corn and soy, but that's hardly the point is it. It's packed with protein, which goes straight to your muscles to help them recover after that hard workout! And yes ok, so it has a good amount of saturated fats, but Tony said saturated fats are not bad for you right?? So there you go!
All of you athletes out there, what's the first thing you crave when you finish a race (or even during a long race like an Ironman): carbs and SALT! And when your body is craving it, it means it NEEDS it. So what's the best combination for that? McD French Fries of course!
Think about it:
- Potatoes: Yes it's true the potatoes used have been cuts months ago, washed with chemicals, possible reconstituted from potato starch, but they're still potatoes right! and potatoes have a lower Glycemic Index than these sugary snacks out there! And guess what, the fact that they're fried is even better! The fat clings to that starch and slows down its digestion! So you get an even lower sugar spike from that starch... protect your pancreas eh?
- The SALT: again, we all know as athletes that we need salt after a hard workout. We don't want to cramp now do we?? We lose a lot of salt by sweating during a workout, especially in a hot humid place like here in Dubai... McD Fries come to the rescue! Yes it may be true that the salt used is bleached and processed and almost void of all minerals, and it may be true that these refined processed salts have been shown to leach your body's own minerals away instead of contributing to them, but there is so much salt on those fries that some of it has to get into your body right? Again, that's great because you have to be recovered to kill that tempo run tomorrow!
And finally, in case you're still not convinced and you're worried about the toxins and harmful substances you may find in Ronald McDonald's products, I tell you one thing:
You see as triathletes, we've discovered this long ago: we swim in dodgy open water locations, including lakes, canals, sea water of questionable quality etc. And how do we make sure we kill any harmful bacteria or toxins we may have ingested from that water? COKE! Once it hits your stomach, it destroys everything it comes in touch with. Bye bye toxins!
Don't believe that guy from the documentary movie SuperSize Me , he's just not an athlete, he doesn't "get it".
So once again, my deepest apologies Ronny for bashing you all these years... You can count me as a friend and big supporter today... we'll see about tomorrow...
(for those who haven't realized this by now: this was an April Fool's joke ;-))